Thin friends

Why are thin girl friends so determined to deny fatness? My best friend is always complaining about how fat she is. (she wears a size 4) But if I, who have no disillusionment about my size, make a simple "blubber" joke, she responds with "Oh,pleeeeze, whatEVer" This is the same response that I got from some female aquaintances a few weeks ago. It actually struck me when my friend said it because it was verbatim. While I appreciate their willingness to live in a little world of denial, I am FAT and I like to be able to own that! To me, informing the world of my fatness is a statement to myself and to them of self acceptance. It is also a way of forcing myself to not be ashamed. By telling everyone (in 3d/online) my weight, I make it clear to myself that that weight does not define me. So, strangely, it makes me more confident that I will LOSE the weight. Why be ashamed with a something that is only transient? Shame seems to imply a sense of permanancy about one's condition.

Anyways, to completely shift to a different topic, I've lost like 4.something pounds these past 2 weeks!

Last week I lost 2.something and this week I lost 1.8! I'm very happy with that and have decided, if I continue to lose about 6 pounds a month, I'll be at goal by the end of next summer. This seems like a long way away but, as always, I'm trying to keep my focus on staying on the diet no matter how much I lose. I am going to think of this as a countdown to summer 2008! Only 18 months to go! I'll probably set up a calendar where I can ceremoniously mark off the weeks as they pass. Even if I don't reach goal by then, I'll be a hell of a lot closer than I am now. And that is good enough for me!

Kat